First Sexual Experience

June 2, 2008 – 9:33 am

Most often in life, we cannot express ourselves or share our true
sexual incidents; due to our own insecurity, fear of the future or revenge,
but it will continue to torment us as long as we live.  I think it is
healthy to release ourselves in a website like this, because you will get
the satisfaction of `letting it go' from your life and heart.  If anyone
who is reading this story thinks that you don't have a story to write;
please think again, because a life without a story is not a life at all and
I am sure you have one.  I can't speak for all the authors and their
authenticity of their stories; but I can promise you that mine is a real
incident except the name and the places.  This incident has changed my
family and separated me from my only brother and I haven't spoken to him
for many years.  My name is John, and of course it is a made-up name,
because it is extremely important to protect my identity since malayalee
community is small in New York and I am a well known person in the
community.  Perhaps my friends will read this story and wonder about my
identity and I will join them saying that "who the fuck is this and I think
this is someone I know".  Anyway, let me share my story and I never ever
shared this story with anyone except my immediate family members who caught
me in the act.  Oh, by the way if my beloved brother is reading this story,
I ask you again to forgive me and let us rebuild our relationship, which
was destroyed many years ago due to my stupidity.  My dear brother it was
an accident and my actions were not justified.  I was young and stupid and
circumstances were beyond my control.  I am about to tell you the truth;
nothing but the truth so help me brother.  I still regret that moment and I
don't know how to get forgiveness.  As you know this incident is the reason
why I am still single, because I know you will make good with your promise
and you will ruin my marriage life by telling my wife.  I know you would
tell this incident to my future wife, if I have one and I take your threat
very seriously.  Please forgive me my brother, let us move on and let us
leave this behind us.  I did not have any touch with you since this
incident and subsequent incidents.  I know where you are, but I don't have
the courage to make that phone call.  I was born and raised in Ernakulum
since my religious background is not important for this story, let me skip
that part, and I came to America in early 80s with my parents when I was
very young and I grew up here.  I never had any sexual experience before
this incident took place, even though I had my imaginations and fantasies
from sex story books and friends.  During my college years my brother got
married and they were living with us for few years after their marriage.
During the first few months of their marriage, they went to India and
Europe for their honeymoon and I couldn't take my mind off from their
honeymoon activities.  She is a very gorgeous and unbelievably sexy girl
with a pair of nice boobs and a skinny body.  Since I was the younger
brother she used to touch me and play with me without any hesitation, but I
always had an eye on her because she was the girl I ever came that close
besides my blood relatives.  Her smell, soft hand, soft speech and sexy
voice have been my inspiration and I was very attracted to her.  I used to
go crazy when she giggle with her sexy voice.  One day I was watching TV in
our family room and she came and sat next to me as usual.  Since I was
laying down on the sofa with my head resting on the hand rest, there was no
room for another person, but she kind of moved my legs and try to sit
there. I immediately fold my legs and made room for her and she sat there.
It was during late morning hours and I was off and of course she did not
get any papers to work, so she was home as well.  This was not the first
time she sat with me in that manner and it is very common even when
everybody is home as well.  Anyway, after few minutes as I was struggling
to keep my legs folded, she took my legs and stretches them into her bosom.
Once again there is nothing wrong with this practice and she did this many
times in front of everyone and it was very normal and casual.  Well, my
dirty mind and her closeness and being alone at home were the main reasons
for the incident and I regret this incident till this day.  My leg start
sweating even in the American winter month and she repeatedly start asking
me about my well being because of my hard breathing patterns.  I continue
to assure her that "I am ok chachy and don't worry and I am fine".
However, my body was speaking a different language and I was enjoying her
hand on my leg and she was carrying on with the normal TV program, while I
was dying with a testosterone attack.  The more I struggled and acted
abnormal the more she rubbed my leg to make me feel better.  I still think
that she was innocent with this incident and I was guilty of thinking with
my dick head and running my relationship with my brother.  Soon my penis
start erecting and it made a bulge and it was visible.  Since I couldn't
help with my erection; I struggled more and more to hide it.  I wanted to
leave, but I was afraid that when I getup my bulge will be more visible and
I did not want embarrass myself, so I continue to struggle.  At some fine
moment, she wanted to change the channel and as she tried to reach the
remote control, which was on the table; her boobs pressed against my upper
legs and I was in heaven.  I automatically reacted to it by pressing hard
with my leg, but she did not notice or care about, it because she thought
it was an innocent reaction.  Anyway, as minutes went by I was panting and
my pennies become fully erected.  I try to lift up my legs to hide my
junior, but she press my leg down and at this point her hands were above my
knees.  She was fully focused on the TV program and I was on her and her
every move and face expressions.  My breathing got heavier and I felt like
1000watt of electricity was passing through my body and I burst into
releasing my load inside my pajama and during that process she noticed the
huge wet spot and she understood what had happened.  I hardly engaged in
masturbation due to my religious teachings and I used to release my load
accidentally during my sleep with sweet dreams.  We were speechless for few
seconds and starred at each other without saying any word.  At the next
moment she put her hand into my pajama and she got a hold of my pennies.
This was my first experience and she was the first girl who ever touched my
pennies.  Since I just came I was not erect or I couldn't help in anyway. I
had that funny and crazy feeling on my pennies but in few minutes she made
me feel better and it started erecting.  I was so surprised when she
started sucking on my penis with some cum on it and it was a shocker.
Whatever I heard and read in sex story books were coming true in front of
my eyes and I lost my mind and heart somewhere during the process.  I
couldn't think or react to her unbelievable talents of sucking my penis and
I was in another world.  We both forgot about who we were and how we were
related to each other.  This was my first ever oral sex experience and you
could imagine what I was experiencing.  I never ever believed that ladies
would suck man's pennies and it was too shameful to even think about it,
even though I heard about it from my friends.  Remember, I was only 18 at
that time.  Anyway as she sucked I felt like I was in paradise and I cannot
describe the feeling I had.  I briefly touched her boobs but not for too
long.  I cum on her face and she took my pennies out of her mouth as I
came. It was the best experience ever because it was my first.  I will
never forget this experience, because she has opened my sexual world.  She
was very experienced and I enjoyed the act very much and she asked that I
should not speak to anyone about it, because it can ruin her marriage and I
told her that I am eighteen and I know better.  I wish this was the end of
my story, but rather it was the beginning of a sexual relationship, which
lasted for about 15 months.  Our innocent and loving relationship became
sexually perverted at that moment and it never been the same.  Automatic
reactions were followed with naughty looks and teasing.  She started caring
for me in a different way from that day and it was very noticeable at home.
I will explain my full story during my next post and let me see what kind
of reaction I will get from the readers and then I will decide to write
more.  By the way I live in New York and I work for the Government.  I am
interested in meeting a single malayalee girl, who can accept and forgive
this mistake and perhaps I am waiting for that girl.  I am still not
married and still looking for my dream girl.  I want post this incident and
all subsequent incidents here and hopping that some girl will read this and
have the guts to email me saying that she can forgive me and perhaps that
would be the start of a relationship.  I hope you enjoy my painful story
and perhaps this is the first real story in this site.  Please email me
with your advice and comments and once again I appreciate all your
feedback. Please don't write anything to accuse me or to make me feel more
horrible about this incident, because it wouldn't help or resolve this
issue.  I honestly wish that I can go back and change that day, but I
cannot.  If you are my girl and willing to forgive my past please email me
and I will reveal my identity.  Please be prepared for a surprise because
you might know me and perhaps we might be friends.

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